Tuesday, June 9, 2015


its like the ego inside have a little folder named NEGATIVITY. Filled with all the negative comments, energies and people just wishing my worst. and I tend to go and open that folder and have a trip down  bad-memory lane at the times that I feel the worst just to feed my negative ego. "youre too skinny" "youre cute but not that cute. so post something else for a change"  "your whole life is a lie"

How come theres so much evil in the world and why am I so open to it?
I think I wish to punish and justify what I did to myself just to collect evidence to why I jumped.

"I am not pretty enough"
"im replaceable"
"I dont matter"
"Im annoying"
"I dont care for anyone but myself"
"all I know is how to numb myself"

these are just some of million thoughts running trough my head. in every millisecond.
been crying for days, years. the tears are just poison from the ego lake that is as big as the universe if I let it be.
I dont like the story that I am in so I chose to leave, this is where im going:


  1. "Grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"


    Christer Strandvaskaren Fribrock

  2. The illusion is that you thought that's where you were going to go.
    The reality is that you are already there.
    Just tap in... tap tap tap ;-)