Monday, June 29, 2015


Some episodes from me and Ricky, theres more episodes to come :D I hope u think they are as funny as I do haha

Sunday, June 28, 2015


okay so get this, wheelchair ppl and few others that ask my why I never post any new pics of myself. Thats total bullshit. I can say that almost every picture where im not standing in is NEW.

wheelchair .. I dont wanna call em people cuz I honestly dont think they are. including me. they shouldnt have to be alive rolling around on this earth as half a person and throw me in the fire and call me satan for saying this but I am not one of those "proud" people that post tons of pics of them in their disgsting wheelchair. and stop asking me to do the same. IT IS GROSS and i STAND FOR THAT. no person should live like a freak and not being able to even use their legs,, among all the other shit that comes with this crap. we should have a choice to live or not.
cuz this is nothing but torture. welll it seems to be a few who likes it and thats good for them but not for the rest of us.
I have a theory, that they probably had a shitty life before and it somehow got better with the injury..

these pictures are not new. they are from last year

Saturday, June 27, 2015


I am so open and honest I don't have any secrets only kept between me and myself, there's always someone that all secret have been told to as well..
That must be the reason why I felt so goddamn empty. I needed something inside something to protect something pure and untouched. My lack of that drove me to boredom hell where I searched for things to know that others didn't.  Collecting experiences that only I had endured.  Good or bad didnt matter but mostly bad. because the yearning for constant destruction.
Is this the road end of my life? Is this where I stop the crazy train. Pull over that car and get of my bicycle and sit in a endless field reflecting, re-thinking re-member and re-living my life in my head. Limbo.
 Like a need to sort out the mess I created Before it can end? Or start over? Or continue? I would wish for continue but there is a key to a door that I still haven't found. A key to the future happenings. 
Where is it ? will I find them? When stop looking? 
Am I just waiting to die

should swallow a bottle of pills like the last commenter said, fucking lying idiot. THE THING IS DOE,,,,,,,, I CANNOT DIE! CUNTFACEFUCKER. but feel free to try n kill me anyone, I rly wouldnt mind leaving this earth, Ive lived my life all the way to the motherfucking end.


true love = suicide?

It has come to that point where I am actually wondering why the fuck im here? I clearly cannot die so whats up with that? Is love suppose to hurt that much that someone actually jumps off a rooftop to end the pain? I loved just a little too much
So no, I cant die. wish I knew that before I put myself in the prison under my own skin and bones.
constantly thinking, living, wishing that I could go back and run up those fire escape stairs and pull me down from the edge
 telling myself that all it would do was to cut of the things that really matters. my freedom. my precious freedom has always been my safetynet

to have the superpower to not be scared of a single thing or being , to run away from all the problems and thoughts. but as much as the drugs made the thoughts stick to my brain they will be my way to freedom again

Anyway whoever made that last comment that I am religious is straight up confused as fuck.. sorry wrong person.
(Says the person whos about to read "walking in faith" that someone here told me to read because this other guy was paralyzed and started walking after reading it. im skipping all the bible crap tho)

Friday, June 26, 2015


ive hit rock bottom theres nothing positive to say abt my current situation so im going to write this post like a future dream manifesto;

Hey eveyone I just woke up, its sunny here in LA, Aloe woke me up really early this morning, but thats okay cuz Im going to my morning yoga meditation now and I will walk there... walking is easy now and my body is in better shape than ever!
I have some meetings and a shoot later today, cant wait to finally go to burning man and a trip to Fiji etc.
I am so happy that I was able to endure all of my worst nightmares and SO thankful for all the beautiful people that I met along the way <3 I really couldnt have done it without you and I am BEYOND grateful for getting my legs n body back to normal
There was times where I was living in constant darkness and saw no hope. I can laugh at all that now

thanks for teaching me how to smile again, universe

Saturday, June 20, 2015


its been a trip. a great one, actually the best one, more, larger, better than I had ever imagined for myself even tho my dreams eventually grew bigger. and they no longer scared me. so I became bored. So bored that I felt the selfish urge to destroy all that I had and all I that I was.
        and hopefully, unconsciously everything and around me.
what was the point of that? is there a meaning to everything? in the end, will we discover that nothing was ever random?

no, this was not meant to be. but who knows what or if anything was?
nothing left but to accept what is. bow,                 
                                                                   and say thanks for the ride.
                I enjoyed every single moment of true Freedom & Love

Saturday, June 13, 2015


Heads up, my blog is becoming more and more like a vlog, I will still keep my good ol chloe cole blog because I love to post pictures and all that but I got a offer to start a vlog channel too but for now I will post a lot on my regular youtube channel 

-Chloe Cole

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


its like the ego inside have a little folder named NEGATIVITY. Filled with all the negative comments, energies and people just wishing my worst. and I tend to go and open that folder and have a trip down  bad-memory lane at the times that I feel the worst just to feed my negative ego. "youre too skinny" "youre cute but not that cute. so post something else for a change"  "your whole life is a lie"

How come theres so much evil in the world and why am I so open to it?
I think I wish to punish and justify what I did to myself just to collect evidence to why I jumped.

"I am not pretty enough"
"im replaceable"
"I dont matter"
"Im annoying"
"I dont care for anyone but myself"
"all I know is how to numb myself"

these are just some of million thoughts running trough my head. in every millisecond.
been crying for days, years. the tears are just poison from the ego lake that is as big as the universe if I let it be.
I dont like the story that I am in so I chose to leave, this is where im going:

Monday, June 8, 2015


If you think about it, Art and Poetry is everything. 2 huge things that make life worth living.

I advice you to watch "tropico" short musical by Lana Del Rey, these are one of the poems in that one and its just Soo damn beautiful when she speaks it.. makes me teary-eyed
SERIOUSLY watch it!

And so, from being created in his likeness, to being banished for wanting to be too much like him, we were cast out, and the garden of Eden transformed in to the garden of Evil
Los Angeles, The city of Angels, A land of Gods and Monsters, The in-between realm where only the choices made from your free will, will decide your souls final fate
Some poets called it the entrance to the Underworld, but on some summer nights, it could feel like Paradise, Paradise Lost
 Womanhood, and all that is woman - and the man that comes from woman
The womb, the tits, nipples, breast-milk, tears, laughter, weeping, love-looks, love-perturbations and rising
The voice, articulation
Whispering, shouting aloud
Food, drink, pulse, digestion, sweat, sleep
Walking, swimming, poise on the hips
Leaping, reclining, embracing, arm-curving and tightening
The continual changes of the flex of the mouth
And around the eyes
The skin, the sun-burnt shade, freckles, hair
The curious sympathy one feels, when feeling with the hand the naked meat of the body
The circling rivers, the breath, and breathing it in and out
The beauty of the waist, and thence of the hips, and thence downward toward the knees
The thin red jellies within you or within me - the bones and the marrow in the bones
The exquisite realization of health;
O I say, these are not the parts and poems of the Body only, but of the Soul
O I say now these are the Soul!

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked
Dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix
Angel-headed hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night
Who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz
Who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated
Who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war
Who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull
Who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their money in wastebaskets and listening to the Terror through the wall
Who got busted in their pubic beards returning through Laredo with a belt of marijuana for New York
Who ate fire in paint hotels or drank turpentine in Paradise Alley, death, or purgatoried their torsos night after night
With dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares


Got some questions from people wondering if the pics from my last post really were taken recently or before the fall, even though I said that theyre from 3 days ago and they are. You cant see under the skin how im held together with metal and screws all over etc.

I can now feel most pressure on my feet from the outside, is that normal? pls someone who succeeded to regain feeling and movement again, answer that question lol
also, the feeling is going down on my back, I get feeling lower and lower...

A part from my other exercises I have a -Healing from the inside- schedule containing meditation, laughing, breathing exercises, mirror work, upper body yoga (which I tend to skip since its really difficult), research, updating my social media a lot etc and its all thanks to my amazing coach Nika for helping me build this ❤  

Sunday, June 7, 2015

O I say, these are not the parts and poems of the Body only, but of the Soul

What is a LoOmkini without the bottompart? lol. I made one so Ive got both pieces now and I felt like I wanted to show it off. Im pale as fuck but I aint even mad
My body havent seen sunlight in more than a year so Its understandable I hope
or lets just say, Im pale like on purpose cuz I secretly wanna look like a vampire ;)

Tuesday, June 2, 2015


Omg omg am I the only one who get like the opposite of what ur supposed to get during Mercury Retrograde?? Maybe cuz tonight 2 june is my Sagittarius Full Moon "Strawberry moon" and I am planning a big manifesting tonight!

I read about it and I got so excited when it said "Sagittarius brings us messages of hope and healing."

Its so accurate, I mean it could have said anything else like abundance and communication right?
Imma bring all my gems and crystals out tonight and suck in all the healing power energy from my moon

IM SO EXCITED is that weird? researching everything on how to make the most out of this moon ceremony

☽ ☾ Heres to Healing and Hope! 

For all who are as into this as me, some tips during this moon;

“cry the tears and clear the fears, most of all under the Full Moon in Sagittarius ‘have faith’ in the bigger or expanded reality and of your life design. There is something big happening in the backdrop spiritually that may not be seen yet
Rather than over-indulging in substances such as alcohol, drugs or over-eating, feel into the emotions and support yourself through it. Be present with things as they may reveal insights to you.
“A healthy way to work with this energy is to allow for time away from pressures of figuring things out and simply be in stillness
allowe yourself to dissolve the tension within the mind is through, art, rest or sleep, poetry, healing, meditation or being out in Nature to gain a different perspective…
 “Feel through the emotions of the past yet do not hold onto the right and wrong or blaming the other person. This will only create more conflict or strife under the aspects of the Full Moon in Sagittarius.
Allow for transformation of the energy rather than becoming lost in the over-identification with the pain or analyzing through the intellect alone.”


✞ ✝
 just listening to Nirvana and Lana   -NIRLANA  (my oxygen)
then dis totally happened..

As long as I can make myself laugh right? And i sure can

Monday, June 1, 2015


 I love making, filming, editing videos so much, Ive been cutting together a few clips from some old material that I have. There will be a few videos when Im done with me and Ricky, just like episodes/days from our time together which was extremely fun.

Some of the clips are already on my YouTube channel so please subscribe and give me some feedback :)

I miss the me I was with ussssssssssss!

Have you noticed that the people you like to hang out with the most are usually the ones that makes you feel the best about yourself or pull out that side/character of you that you love to be.                      And why are one always acting so incredible awkward when with the person they are in love with?
I used to wish that I could be the Chloe I was with a certain one when I was with 'that other one' as well but nah, only a few ppl on this planet brings out the best you according to you.
make sense I hope?
                    youre always going to be different around all people more or less. I prefer the last one. tho I admire people who can snap out and go into a different character when needed. Im one of those. yet they scare me a little cuz I know how theyre wired..

 Tip;   The better you make your friends feel around you, good looking etc the more they will want to be around you! So don't be cheap on the compliments but they must be real straight from the heart.

I for one am really easy going and open about everything and I will, and have never judged anyone! thats why I have so many friends ;) LOL
you can be and do whatever you want in front of me Im like the best friend on the planet if you can handle the truth right in your face, cuz im outspoken like that, never fake never lie. BUT remember, not everyone deserves to know the real you. Let em criticize who they think you are.

sum up;                               IM PRETTY GOOD COMPANY