Friday, May 29, 2015

OLD HABITS REST IN PEACE

This music video featuring me just got released finally omg been such a long time haha but here it is :)
take a look



Wednesday, May 27, 2015

OLD NEW PICS

I havent posted these pics from Palm Springs before, I miss that place so much..

And I really want to do a funny movie but I cant think of any topic, help me! what would you wanna see? seriously my mind is blank








Sunday, May 24, 2015

I WISH I WAS LIKE YOU, EASILY AMUSED.






remember this shirt I won from KID Richards  
I felt like some Nirvana today, I am going to have some phone-call meetings and then watch the new Kurt Cobain Montage Of Heck documentary. I am really excited I had no idea that it was already out! and long time ago as well 

MY LOOMKINI



So I finally finished my LoOmkini! I havent seen anyone doing this anywhere so remember who started it ;) haha now I need to do the bottom part which is going to be kinda inappropriate as beachwear

but this is how the top looks and I know I could have worked on this for months and months and made it perfect but I just wanted to get the shit done already! I like how my vision of the back turned out just like i had imagined




ahh lemme just say how I love to finally have like no boobs, ive always wanted smaller, all clothes are fitting great and I hate wearing bras, I find them very uncomfortable

Friday, May 22, 2015

Suicide Story. Why I jumped off the rooftop on a 13 story building



I wanted to tell the truth myself and the story behind why I did this incredible idiotic move that ruined my life while I am searching for the answer on why I survived.
Also I want to prevent and be an example for others who find themselves in the position I was in and maybe save someones life.

I am always here for anyone who want to talk or feel like they need my help

SKINCARE




If you too got an obsession with blackheads youre probably a girl, and you should totally get this JorgOb`e peel off mask, order online from DK only

I dont know what it is with blackheads obsession, I love getting em off. Poor boyfriends ive had lol please tell me why so many girls have this obsession? we were talking about it and my guy friend said it must be a "taking care" gene that women has but I say no it has nothing to do with caring.. its just stimulating to get that shit out from the skin 

I remember my friend Ayla who used to get blackheads from around her cats mouth, it was a sphynx (naked cat) I want one.. 


Monday, May 18, 2015

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. THE DAY I DIED



Today is the 19th may. Exactly a year since the day I died.
Still breathing and my heart still beat obviously but half of my body and my soul died.

this feeling is by far the worst one I have ever endured. I cant stand to wait any longer...
Imagine waiting in a line that you know wont end in at least a few years if even that.

I have never wanted to live more than right now.

good thing that Im the kind of person who always lived life to the fullest, I did what ever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I never wasted my life working at a job that I hated, never did anything that I did not want to do.
I dropped out school in 11th grade THANK GOD! It was only a waste of time and it didnt make me happy.
I traveled a lot, I met so many amazing people. I moved to LA because I never felt like I belong in Sweden and when I got to LA it was like I had never lived anywhere else. my home <3

Ive never been scared of anything except to live a normal boring life, being stuck somewhere in a country hate, with a person I didnt love and a meaningless job that made me miserable just thinking about it.

Being happy is the only thing that matters in life. my advice to you all would be to ask yourself right now these questions;

  • Am I happy with my life? 
  • my job
  • my boyfriend/girlfriend/single
  • do I live every day like I want?
  • Is there anything that I have always wanted to do? what can I do to make it happen?
  • do I like who I am? what can I do to be the best person?
  • Do I love myself enough?
  • is there anything that I know that I should change about myself? do it now.

Monday, May 11, 2015

IPL LASER HAIR REMOVAL

Fucking mad today. started out with a panic attack but now Im just fucking angry. Angry at sweden for being retarded. Instead of doing this;

Christopher Reeve used DAILY electrical stimulation to build mass in his muscle groups, aqua therapy and treadmill training. these activities awakened dormant nerve pathways.
should have been given b vitamin shots and steroids in muscles as well but nahhhhh. these motherfuckers dont give a single fuck and have zero ambition to help people walk again. Lazy fucks do what is the most comfortable and simple for them.  This is just for you ppl defending them. stop it. they admit themselves that they have no knowledge when it comes to sc injuries.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAnyway. I have been preparing a bit for a shoot I have on thursday, face mask, hair removal from Philips and other stuff. mostly cuz im bored .. and oh some painting/drawing. I am out of ideas of what to draw so if you have any suggestion then id love to hear it


Love the smell of the D&G perfume and body lotion called 'Dolce'



made this one a while ago when I was on the phone with Debbie

Saturday, May 9, 2015

ME MYSELF AND YALL

I just have to say that Im moved by you guys, so many loving souls in the world and you know how emotional I get by genuine kind humans.  all these people both strangers and ppl I know that reach out to me and wanna help in every and any way possible its just so sweet

I just wanna say thank you all for your love and the smiles you give me. its been a very rough year but still you manage to make me smile everyday, even on days like this, when I wake up crying surrounded by darkness and pain.

and that you take your time to cheer me up even if you not always succeed ;p

I wish eternal happiness and peace for you all

well except for this guy lol:

I dont see how its an issue that I havent posted pictures of others or ever on MY facebook? Its not like I have had the most joyful creative last few months.

I like to do what I know and I only know how to do me. if that make sense lol Ive done me since the day I was born and thats what I am good at, sorry if I come across as a narcissist haha its not the case.

No one who has met me would call me that. although I have never felt interested in other peoples lifes, only a very few and so I thought that everyone was? I mean Id never go look on someones page 6 months back that I dont know. or even if I did know them.

and I dont think its weird if someone did but please dont go yell on me afterwards. I didnt make you look :p




Thursday, May 7, 2015

THE INDIGO KID

I really like his videos n music actually so I thought I should share ,  The Indigo Kid

I feel so inspired after watching these! Its itching in my fingers, want to get back to work




Friday, May 1, 2015

HAD TO WRITE ABOUT THIS AGAIN

yes I am having a pity party for myself,..  going from the lifestyle I had, very energetic dancing traveling etc to this, Layin in a bed every day for almost a year. its 19 days left til a year,...

one year is all I was going to give this. I just cant keep going like this. especially not when I see this video, I was going to dance w my hula hoop like this and I was getting good at it,

if I cant live the life I used to, I wont live at all. I am done breathing. cuz that is really all I do, im not living just breathing. Enough already with this shit.

Swedish healthcare people are MURDERERS they refuse to give me a hip implant on my right side. There is no more bone inside, I have a wound connected to the hip and each time the screws inside (which are lose) moves around, blood comes out the wound. So im literally waking up in a pool of blood each day and its running blood from the wound constantly.           
(((((((((((Pictures; Do not click if easily grossed out http://postimg.org/gallery/2u0zrfd0u/)))))))))))

we have proven them that theres NO infection what so ever in there, all i need is to remove the lose screws and put in a new fake hip. the only reason they wont give me a new hip is because of this, and I quote what the cunt said;
                        - "what do you need a new hip for, since you cant walk anyway?"
They give 95 year olds hip replacement in their sleep each day! but they deny a 25 year old. How the hell would i ever walk without a hip?!

this wound cant or is not supposed to heal until i get a hip because then the blood have no where to go but inside my body which isnt good.

CAN YOU MAKE SENSE OUT OF THIS?  THEY ALL NEED HEART TRANSPLANTS CUZ THEY ARE ALL HEARTLESS!