Thursday, April 30, 2015


a thought from today.. I got into some real deep thinking again.
trying to make each day matter in any possible way. and what really matters in life? id say to be happy            and thats far away from where I am right now

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

YOU HAVE ARRIVED

Nahw, I cannot see the moon outside my window tonight.. I realized yesterday when I could see it right there
     that every time I can see the moon in the window I  feel extra loved by the universe and less alone. its a special feeling..  Its something you don't really think about but the feeling is just there you know.


some pics from today;


Monday, April 27, 2015

DYING SOUL

Come to think of it, I would really go all in and do anything to get a good pic or video.

Acting is the only thing that gives me total satisfaction and true happiness. it keeps me alive you know,
I have known that for a long time and its just so great to know exactly what I want to do in life but also so frustrating and painful with all these obstacles coming in my way. why cant I just be able to be happy and do what I love instead of laying dying in this bed waiting for things to get better...

I am not alive.










Saturday, April 25, 2015

SOUL OF A LION



As I look forward to the future I enjoy looking back on my life, I put together this, some clips of me from various stuff and also a little rap by me in the beginning lol.
love YOself!

I began to laugh yesterday when a memory popped up in my head... remember the guy that were abusing me for months? well one day when he was driving with me back to his place telling me how he was gna kill me once we got in the house (this was by the end when I finally escaped his prison)

anyway this time I just snapped, I guess Id had enough of him beating me.. so I literally opened the door while he was driving, jumped out and started running and when he drove after me i stopped and so did he,

THEN I just ran like a maniac towards his car and then up on the hood and totally smashed his whole front window, stomped as hard as I possible could with my feet til it was destroyed!  then I jumped down and ran for my life while laughing to myself when I saw the people that stood there watching with their jaw dropped to the ground.
         I totally Kicked Spidermans ass!

HAHA I love that I have "wrecked a car with my body" on my resume, CHECK! Lol

it felt so good, like when the villain in movies gets killed or something. he deserved it very well.

Friday, April 17, 2015

HEY NEW FRIENDS

I am getting more offers than ever, modeling acting, travel, trips and god it kills me, having to say that im not available right now. because I suffer from this damn injury still.  (SCI)  

(ALL tips and help is appreciated to speed up my recovery! like surgeries, Treatments, doctors, alternative methods. anything really)

I will not worry because I know that I am right where Im supposed to be and time is not relevant.. It will all be okay. everything is coming together and there is no reason for me to worry or stress. Patience and simplicity. I am willing to let life love me

Just a little note to the ones that doesnt know me and my current reality and a note to myself :)
Im back in LA very soon. 





Wednesday, April 15, 2015

MIRROR WORK & MEMORY MAKING

I have done some mirror work today, you simply stare yourself in the eyes and say, I love you *your name* and it will be really weird and also difficult in the beginning because you will probably start thinking about all the things you dont like about you... and if so then start off with saying I am WILLING to love you *ur name*
I myself are forgiving myself. "Chloe Cole I am willing to forgive you" I do this about 6 times a day and changes are already happening :)

Dont forget to follow me on IG #ChloeeCole

A few days ago me and Joakim had some artsy time haha I love this clip, "JAG SKITER VAL I MIN HAND" hAHA


video





oh hi

Sunday, April 12, 2015

FUCK SCI!! BUT HERES SOME HELP... LOL

Oh my sweet, sweet heavily ass motherfuckin Lord! I am so sick and tired of DIS SHIET. I have been trying to search for TIPS for spinal cord injured people, like how to treat the crap and get better. But ALL I can find is how to take care of your "dear spinal cord injury"
People LOVE to TREAT their illnesses or injuries. Especially hospitals. :) thats why its called a Sjukhus in Swedish, a "SICKHOUSE" what genius came up with that name huh?

ANYWAY
I would like to be the (apparently) first person to provide tips on how to get better, and to help your body on the road to success!
These are some small tips that I have found out trough people and such. I personally know 10 people who were all spinal cord injured and theyre all back on their feets, running jumping and what not. It took some of em, a month, a year, a year and a half, 5 years. Doesnt matter cuz I am just saying that its absolute not impossible.  Then theres ofc all the rest of the "famous" people who started walking again.

Bill Bartman who was paralyzed from the waist down.  Now Bill can walk like a normal person.  He used the power of the mind and  total faith and belief after doctors told him that he would never walk again.  He also became the 25th richest man in America as well. He tells his story of how he walked again in a book called "Billionaire Secrets to Success"

Every single one of them have been told by doctors that they will never walk, or regain any function. Everyone is different, like snowflakes we all heal differently and ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD. ALL IN YOUR HEAD  thats why were now able to get the HAL robot legs that lets a person with a complete injury, no movement or feeling walk and go up stairs etc. its connected with signals from the brain to the legs.
SO FUCK YOU WHO SAY ITS IMPOSSIBLE!



now, some simple tips (there is like a thousand more but they are a bit more complicated)
  • on the picture I have made circles where you can massage (to get oxygen to the spinal cord, which is what it needs) on the bone under the knee for example with two fingers. Above your big toe where you can feel the small bones underneath, massage it gently. and also upper thighs, in trough the fat on the bone. Your stomach will move so then you know its the right spot.
  • eat loads of vitamin C, find out where you can get the most out of it in the most potent natural form like dried "havtorn" berries.
  • drink something called MSM (Methylsulfonylmethane) it helps the cells to breathe and its good for alot of things Google it. I buy it in stores with horse supplies instead of the health stores. Its cheaper and more pure actually!
  • drink natural cranberry juice, if youre not already. No sugar. No urinary tract infection.
  • Do not own your injury, dont talk about it more than necessary, do not listen to negative people. Visualize youself being completely back to normal, and feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel your legs like they used to be.
  • LOVE yourself! DUhhhhh 
  • always try to move toes, legs everything. it sends signals to the brain. 
  • lie on your stomach as much as you can to stretch out your hip
  • I know a way to learn how to pee without using catheter, its TMI to explain here tho. but if you need help.. well yeah 
  • Crystals and gems are magical. trust me. wear em, have them close to you.
  • stay away from pills that are not absolutely necessary. NO Lyrica pls. stand the nerve pains if you can and say NO to anything that will take away you reflexes or spasms. They are positive and you will need em. ;)  
  • UPDATE: Did you know that you can talk to your cells? they listen and they renew and regenerate themselves! You can also listen to these Binaural beats:



This is it. I am not goin to talk about this anymore because its making me sick. I just really wanted to help you out a little, do not lose hope and you do not have to accept anything or listen to what anyone says except yourself.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF BECAUSE ITS YOUR GODDAMN BODY!

Saturday, April 11, 2015

DONT MESS WITH THE SUPREME

Oh hi, woke up fucking early today from a sharp pain in my heart. Welcome to ReALiti ! Did my eyebrows yesterday, I think she made em too thin :( but they will grow out,.. miss my fav in LA always doing it perfect.
Msg me if u want her info btw!

I heard about a girl who fell from the same building as me but from the 7th floor, she died instantly. then I know about another one that fell from the same height as I and also died. I was right cuz I always thought that I felt alot of bad energy there. like living there was just really heavy and yellow lights.
great view but thats all. I get the creeps thinking about that place, there was never really any peace among us and I was always SO tired.

Wish No 2 , that I could go back in time and RE-DO everything. say yes yes yes to good shit. I have been told tho that I was NEVER lazy. just depressed. so thats a little comforting knowing right?
esp since ive been driving myself crazy because of all the great opportunities that I backed out on for no specific reason, just  being tired (depressed)

ah what silly fucking issues I had, compare to the ones I have now. Im not gonna address them and give em fucking energy but thats just that.

 Life is beautiful, really it is.. Full of beauty and allusions.
Life is Great. without it, you'd be Dead.


Tuesday, April 7, 2015

INTERVIEW NO. 2

from the last interview I did for Kvallsposten. Damn I need help with this, I need to walk now

Saturday, April 4, 2015

WISH #1

When Im gone I want to no special funeral or coffin. I want this https://urnabios.com/
The Bios Urn is a fully biodegradable urn designed to convert you into a tree after life.
Mainly composed by two parts, the urn contains a seed which will grow to remember your loved one. Bios Urn turns death into a transformation and a return to life through nature.
 I want to be a cherry blossom tree. (or a palm tree) somewhere in Los Angeles, I want no one to waste time visiting me, only when Its blossoming. Then you will remember that I am finally in peace and please be happy for me.
No more suffering




REMEMBER ME

Remember me when you're the one who's silver screened
Remember me when you're the one you always dreamed
Remember me whenever noses start to bleed
Remember me, special needs


Remember me when you clinch your movie deal
And think of me stuck in my chair that has four wheels
Remember me through flash photography and screams
Remember me, special dreams


So weird that the "special needs" Placebo song has always been so special to me and now its so unbelievable accurate.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

TO LIVE WITH DIGNITY. TO DIE WITH DIGNITY.






I am laying  in bed listening to Lana, looking at old pictures and crying. I really screwed up this time didnt I? I do not know how many days, minutes, seconds that I can stand this life.. It has really come to an ending point. a person can only take so much. A 25 year old shouldnt have to go trough all of this. I dont think its fair that we dont get to decide over our own bodies in sweden.
I am Pro Dignitas in Switzerland. They have clearly understanding and compassion for their fellow humans.
Do you think its fair to keep someone in constant physical and mental pain alive? just because you love them or cant handle something as natural as death..

I think its sick that I am alive today, a person with those kinda injuries should not be brought back to life. But ofc I should be grateful for the amazing job the american doctors did, putting me back together. but then it went wrong..

I would have been grateful to still be alive if I was able to LIVE. I am not alive. I look, (and Im good at it) alive sometimes, smiling, but its not real. It hurts and everything reminds me of my life, when I was living my perfectly weird life. but I wasnt done yet.

every second is like a lifetime in darkness and fear.

I went to have lunch or something today at a great place at the beach. It was sunny, but what does it matter.
I need a big  change now.