Tuesday, September 30, 2014

MY FUND



My friends have helped me in starting a fund called "Help Chloe Walk". The following is the link to help donate to my cause. here 

It has taken me some time to finally be able to do this. It is so very difficult in self disclosing my most private experiences, thoughts, and feelings. But here it is... Here is my story. Until about six months ago, I was an active, passionate, vibrant, energetic woman, full of life and so excited about my future and what this beautiful life had to offer. I accidentally fell from atop of a 13 story building in Los Angeles, California. Obviously, I survived this horrific fall. 

Who would have imagined such a miracle? To survive? I'm still in awe. Still in shock. But, with my miracle, came pain. The pain and feeling of constant reoccurring hopelessness and fear of never being able to walk again, of never being able to live a normal life again, of never being the vibrant woman I was, again. Unfortunately, and although it's so difficult to accept, I am paralyzed from the waist down, with a T6 complete spinal cord injury. 

This means I cannot walk. I have lost my inability to go to the bathroom on my own. My reproductive system has been permanently damaged. I am not capable of ever having physical pleasure again. All of my daily routine activities have been compromised. I've been lying in bed the past six months, which have led to even more life threatening medical complications. My skin is breaking down to my bone because of bedsores that are not healing appropriately. I feel so much pain, both physically and mentally. It's so difficult accepting my circumstances. My life is no longer the same.

 I ask myself every day, will it ever be the same?? Why this happened? What have I done? Why me?? The experience is so surreal. I wake up everyday wondering if it is all a nightmare. But it's not. This in fact, is my reality. I broke 38 bones in total and my head was left without a scratch, which makes me believe that there is a reason why I have survived. I mean, what are the odds? There is a reason I am alive today. There is a reason to share my story with all of you. I believe I had to experience this to be able to instill hope in others. Hope that one can still accomplish their dreams if they do whatever it takes to get there. 

 This is why I am kindly asking for your help and support. There is an amazing rehab called Project Walk (http://youtu.be/Pr2728eO_KA) that specializes in working with individuals who have suffered from a spinal cord injury. Project Walk helps individuals in providing them with the most medically advanced approaches and tools in order provide them with the hope and advantage of ever walking again. However, this chance that I could ever have at being able to live a normal life again, is very costly. And this is why I am reaching out to you. Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you.






Monday, September 29, 2014

ANSWER



I was reading your comments this morning when they woke me up at 5.45am and I honestly got really sad.. many of you seem to wonder what happened to me and as it says,,,,,,,,,,,, I fell! yes! fell. and after that I was in a coma for 3 days, I dont remember what happened. The sad thing is that you wont be happy with my answer but what can I do more than this??
You say I wont get any money on the "Help Chloe walk" fund. ok  thats very sweet of you to be honest but im trying to be positive and keep my fucking hope up that Ill ever walk again! You should really re-think your life

 Anyway. on Thursday imma go to a stable and cuddle with the horses and next time Ill get to ride. got me thinking.. maybe I should get a horse, it could be my legs!

Friday, September 26, 2014

MANIFEST


I really want to go to this rehab thing called Project walk, its right outside LA and other places like San fran but id want to be at the one closest to La ofc :) thats my dream now I need to manifest like fuck

PRAY FOR ME. 2 MONTHS LEFT

I told myself imma give this whole thing 6 months. If I dont see any improvements within 2 months Ill give up. So, these 2 months will be all about knowing miracles can happen n knowing in my heart im already walking. Please god, let me walk and have my life back! PRAY WITH ME


MEMORIES

video
I got a question, whats my fav spots in LA and I must say I love all of La and everything around, Palm springs, Malibu, Topanga canyon and yeah just everything. Got so many precious memories !
The one place Im not very fund of is Santa Monica.. I duno what it is, I just dont feel like home there.

So I guess that answers that, its painful going trough all my old photos and videos
I wish I could just turn back time

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

TOO MUCH TO HANDLE

This morning I received a letter with some really bad news that totally killed the last hope I was barely survived on right now, mentally.

My hip is infected and its eating my bones away meaning id need immediate surgery and that would mean that they would remove parts of my skeleton leaving my leg 6 cm ( 2.3inch)  shorter than my left one but it wouldnt matter since my changes of ever walking again is 0%

Everyone who knows me, know that I would never in a million years spend my life in a wheelchair. I wouldnt even call it a life.

i dont have much to say, Im speechless who would have seen tihis coming. how can this now be my fate?

I LOVE everyone that has been there for me everyday and stood by my side no matter what and I cant help but feel a bit selfish when I tell you that I do not want to live like this.. but
Im broken inside and out and Im asking anyone out there for help to end this pain im in.  Please help.








MO' PICASAS

got a whole bunch of these yesterday soo im posting some more eh
 



Just spotted a deer.. n Im hungry!
haha weird leg pose yess


Saturday, September 20, 2014

NEW BLOOD

I wish I showed more of my outfit pics here when I had the chance.. I have just soo many looks that I love and never got to show you :(

Today I had some good news coming my way and hopefully things will get going sooner than I thought. I was lifted up on my legs today almost all the way n the feeling was so amazing I started crying, to be up on normal height and not in a bed or sitting down looking up is amazing. Something we all take for granted..

Friday, September 19, 2014

REASONS TO KEEP ON GOING

there is nothing to do all days, Im not getting any physical therapy for the moment because of wounds that need to heal... it really brings one down. Id love if you guys could give me some ideas of what you would want me to blog about. I need to get my mind off reality..

I know I should be grateful for still being alive but it feels more like a punishment even thoI dont believe in such things. I keep wonder why me?  why anyone? How come the body allows itself to not function when its all there, I mean I still have my legs so why the hell cant the body keep it together for fucks sake.





Monday, September 15, 2014

LIFE AS I KNEW IT

I figured, Im still in rehab got nothing to do except drinking coffee and swallow pills for my severe pain in my ribs n back. I swear Id do anything to stop it

pics from before the accident, think it was sinko del mayo or Stinko del mucho..




 


Wednesday, September 10, 2014