Wednesday, May 27, 2015

OLD NEW PICS

I havent posted these pics from Palm Springs before, I miss that place so much..

And I really want to do a funny movie but I cant think of any topic, help me! what would you wanna see? seriously my mind is blank








Sunday, May 24, 2015

I WISH I WAS LIKE YOU, EASILY AMUSED.






remember this shirt I won from KID Richards  
I felt like some Nirvana today, I am going to have some phone-call meetings and then watch the new Kurt Cobain Montage Of Heck documentary. I am really excited I had no idea that it was already out! and long time ago as well 

MY LOOMKINI



So I finally finished my LoOmkini! I havent seen anyone doing this anywhere so remember who started it ;) haha now I need to do the bottom part which is going to be kinda inappropriate as beachwear

but this is how the top looks and I know I could have worked on this for months and months and made it perfect but I just wanted to get the shit done already! I like how my vision of the back turned out just like i had imagined




ahh lemme just say how I love to finally have like no boobs, ive always wanted smaller, all clothes are fitting great and I hate wearing bras, I find them very uncomfortable

Friday, May 22, 2015

Suicide Story. Why I jumped off the rooftop on a 13 story building


I wanted to tell the truth myself and the story behind why I did this incredible idiotic move that ruined my life while I am searching for the answer on why I survived.
Also I want to prevent and be an example for others who find themselves in the position I was in and maybe save someones life.

I am always here for anyone who want to talk or feel like they need my help

SKINCARE




If you too got an obsession with blackheads youre probably a girl, and you should totally get this JorgOb`e peel off mask, order online from DK only

I dont know what it is with blackheads obsession, I love getting em off. Poor boyfriends ive had lol please tell me why so many girls have this obsession? we were talking about it and my guy friend said it must be a "taking care" gene that women has but I say no it has nothing to do with caring.. its just stimulating to get that shit out from the skin 

I remember my friend Ayla who used to get blackheads from around her cats mouth, it was a sphynx (naked cat) I want one.. 


Monday, May 18, 2015

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. THE DAY I DIED



Today is the 19th may. Exactly a year since the day I died.
Still breathing and my heart still beat obviously but half of my body and my soul died.

this feeling is by far the worst one I have ever endured. I cant stand to wait any longer...
Imagine waiting in a line that you know wont end in at least a few years if even that.

I have never wanted to live more than right now.

good thing that Im the kind of person who always lived life to the fullest, I did what ever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I never wasted my life working at a job that I hated, never did anything that I did not want to do.
I dropped out school in 11th grade THANK GOD! It was only a waste of time and it didnt make me happy.
I traveled a lot, I met so many amazing people. I moved to LA because I never felt like I belong in Sweden and when I got to LA it was like I had never lived anywhere else. my home <3

Ive never been scared of anything except to live a normal boring life, being stuck somewhere in a country hate, with a person I didnt love and a meaningless job that made me miserable just thinking about it.

Being happy is the only thing that matters in life. my advice to you all would be to ask yourself right now these questions;

  • Am I happy with my life? 
  • my job
  • my boyfriend/girlfriend/single
  • do I live every day like I want?
  • Is there anything that I have always wanted to do? what can I do to make it happen?
  • do I like who I am? what can I do to be the best person?
  • Do I love myself enough?
  • is there anything that I know that I should change about myself? do it now.

Monday, May 11, 2015

IPL LASER HAIR REMOVAL

Fucking mad today. started out with a panic attack but now Im just fucking angry. Angry at sweden for being retarded. Instead of doing this;

Christopher Reeve used DAILY electrical stimulation to build mass in his muscle groups, aqua therapy and treadmill training. these activities awakened dormant nerve pathways.
should have been given b vitamin shots and steroids in muscles as well but nahhhhh. these motherfuckers dont give a single fuck and have zero ambition to help people walk again. Lazy fucks do what is the most comfortable and simple for them.  This is just for you ppl defending them. stop it. they admit themselves that they have no knowledge when it comes to sc injuries.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAnyway. I have been preparing a bit for a shoot I have on thursday, face mask, hair removal from Philips and other stuff. mostly cuz im bored .. and oh some painting/drawing. I am out of ideas of what to draw so if you have any suggestion then id love to hear it


Love the smell of the D&G perfume and body lotion called 'Dolce'



made this one a while ago when I was on the phone with Debbie

Saturday, May 9, 2015

ME MYSELF AND YALL

I just have to say that Im moved by you guys, so many loving souls in the world and you know how emotional I get by genuine kind humans.  all these people both strangers and ppl I know that reach out to me and wanna help in every and any way possible its just so sweet

I just wanna say thank you all for your love and the smiles you give me. its been a very rough year but still you manage to make me smile everyday, even on days like this, when I wake up crying surrounded by darkness and pain.

and that you take your time to cheer me up even if you not always succeed ;p

I wish eternal happiness and peace for you all

well except for this guy lol:

I dont see how its an issue that I havent posted pictures of others or ever on MY facebook? Its not like I have had the most joyful creative last few months.

I like to do what I know and I only know how to do me. if that make sense lol Ive done me since the day I was born and thats what I am good at, sorry if I come across as a narcissist haha its not the case.

No one who has met me would call me that. although I have never felt interested in other peoples lifes, only a very few and so I thought that everyone was? I mean Id never go look on someones page 6 months back that I dont know. or even if I did know them.

and I dont think its weird if someone did but please dont go yell on me afterwards. I didnt make you look :p




Thursday, May 7, 2015

THE INDIGO KID

I really like his videos n music actually so I thought I should share ,  The Indigo Kid

I feel so inspired after watching these! Its itching in my fingers, want to get back to work




Friday, May 1, 2015

HAD TO WRITE ABOUT THIS AGAIN

yes I am having a pity party for myself,..  going from the lifestyle I had, very energetic dancing traveling etc to this, Layin in a bed every day for almost a year. its 19 days left til a year,...

one year is all I was going to give this. I just cant keep going like this. especially not when I see this video, I was going to dance w my hula hoop like this and I was getting good at it,

if I cant live the life I used to, I wont live at all. I am done breathing. cuz that is really all I do, im not living just breathing. Enough already with this shit.

Swedish healthcare people are MURDERERS they refuse to give me a hip implant on my right side. There is no more bone inside, I have a wound connected to the hip and each time the screws inside (which are lose) moves around, blood comes out the wound. So im literally waking up in a pool of blood each day and its running blood from the wound constantly.           
(((((((((((Pictures; Do not click if easily grossed out http://postimg.org/gallery/2u0zrfd0u/)))))))))))

we have proven them that theres NO infection what so ever in there, all i need is to remove the lose screws and put in a new fake hip. the only reason they wont give me a new hip is because of this, and I quote what the cunt said;
                        - "what do you need a new hip for, since you cant walk anyway?"
They give 95 year olds hip replacement in their sleep each day! but they deny a 25 year old. How the hell would i ever walk without a hip?!

this wound cant or is not supposed to heal until i get a hip because then the blood have no where to go but inside my body which isnt good.

CAN YOU MAKE SENSE OUT OF THIS?  THEY ALL NEED HEART TRANSPLANTS CUZ THEY ARE ALL HEARTLESS!

Thursday, April 30, 2015


a thought from today.. I got into some real deep thinking again.
trying to make each day matter in any possible way. and what really matters in life? id say to be happy            and thats far away from where I am right now

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

YOU HAVE ARRIVED

Nahw, I cannot see the moon outside my window tonight.. I realized yesterday when I could see it right there
     that every time I can see the moon in the window I  feel extra loved by the universe and less alone. its a special feeling..  Its something you don't really think about but the feeling is just there you know.


some pics from today;


Monday, April 27, 2015

DYING SOUL

Come to think of it, I would really go all in and do anything to get a good pic or video.

Acting is the only thing that gives me total satisfaction and true happiness. it keeps me alive you know,
I have known that for a long time and its just so great to know exactly what I want to do in life but also so frustrating and painful with all these obstacles coming in my way. why cant I just be able to be happy and do what I love instead of laying dying in this bed waiting for things to get better...

I am not alive.










Saturday, April 25, 2015

SOUL OF A LION



As I look forward to the future I enjoy looking back on my life, I put together this, some clips of me from various stuff and also a little rap by me in the beginning lol.
love YOself!

I began to laugh yesterday when a memory popped up in my head... remember the guy that were abusing me for months? well one day when he was driving with me back to his place telling me how he was gna kill me once we got in the house (this was by the end when I finally escaped his prison)

anyway this time I just snapped, I guess Id had enough of him beating me.. so I literally opened the door while he was driving, jumped out and started running and when he drove after me i stopped and so did he,

THEN I just ran like a maniac towards his car and then up on the hood and totally smashed his whole front window, stomped as hard as I possible could with my feet til it was destroyed!  then I jumped down and ran for my life while laughing to myself when I saw the people that stood there watching with their jaw dropped to the ground.
         I totally Kicked Spidermans ass!

HAHA I love that I have "wrecked a car with my body" on my resume, CHECK! Lol

it felt so good, like when the villain in movies gets killed or something. he deserved it very well.

Friday, April 17, 2015

HEY NEW FRIENDS

I am getting more offers than ever, modeling acting, travel, trips and god it kills me, having to say that im not available right now. because I suffer from this damn injury still.  (SCI)  

(ALL tips and help is appreciated to speed up my recovery! like surgeries, Treatments, doctors, alternative methods. anything really)

I will not worry because I know that I am right where Im supposed to be and time is not relevant.. It will all be okay. everything is coming together and there is no reason for me to worry or stress. Patience and simplicity. I am willing to let life love me

Just a little note to the ones that doesnt know me and my current reality and a note to myself :)
Im back in LA very soon. 





Wednesday, April 15, 2015

MIRROR WORK & MEMORY MAKING

I have done some mirror work today, you simply stare yourself in the eyes and say, I love you *your name* and it will be really weird and also difficult in the beginning because you will probably start thinking about all the things you dont like about you... and if so then start off with saying I am WILLING to love you *ur name*
I myself are forgiving myself. "Chloe Cole I am willing to forgive you" I do this about 6 times a day and changes are already happening :)

Dont forget to follow me on IG #ChloeeCole

A few days ago me and Joakim had some artsy time haha I love this clip, "JAG SKITER VAL I MIN HAND" hAHA


video





oh hi

Sunday, April 12, 2015

FUCK SCI!! BUT HERES SOME HELP... LOL

Oh my sweet, sweet heavily ass motherfuckin Lord! I am so sick and tired of DIS SHIET. I have been trying to search for TIPS for spinal cord injured people, like how to treat the crap and get better. But ALL I can find is how to take care of your "dear spinal cord injury"
People LOVE to TREAT their illnesses or injuries. Especially hospitals. :) thats why its called a Sjukhus in Swedish, a "SICKHOUSE" what genius came up with that name huh?

ANYWAY
I would like to be the (apparently) first person to provide tips on how to get better, and to help your body on the road to success!
These are some small tips that I have found out trough people and such. I personally know 10 people who were all spinal cord injured and theyre all back on their feets, running jumping and what not. It took some of em, a month, a year, a year and a half, 5 years. Doesnt matter cuz I am just saying that its absolute not impossible.  Then theres ofc all the rest of the "famous" people who started walking again.

Bill Bartman who was paralyzed from the waist down.  Now Bill can walk like a normal person.  He used the power of the mind and  total faith and belief after doctors told him that he would never walk again.  He also became the 25th richest man in America as well. He tells his story of how he walked again in a book called "Billionaire Secrets to Success"

Every single one of them have been told by doctors that they will never walk, or regain any function. Everyone is different, like snowflakes we all heal differently and ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD. ALL IN YOUR HEAD  thats why were now able to get the HAL robot legs that lets a person with a complete injury, no movement or feeling walk and go up stairs etc. its connected with signals from the brain to the legs.
SO FUCK YOU WHO SAY ITS IMPOSSIBLE!



now, some simple tips (there is like a thousand more but they are a bit more complicated)
  • on the picture I have made circles where you can massage (to get oxygen to the spinal cord, which is what it needs) on the bone under the knee for example with two fingers. Above your big toe where you can feel the small bones underneath, massage it gently. and also upper thighs, in trough the fat on the bone. Your stomach will move so then you know its the right spot.
  • eat loads of vitamin C, find out where you can get the most out of it in the most potent natural form like dried "havtorn" berries.
  • drink something called MSM (Methylsulfonylmethane) it helps the cells to breathe and its good for alot of things Google it. I buy it in stores with horse supplies instead of the health stores. Its cheaper and more pure actually!
  • drink natural cranberry juice, if youre not already. No sugar. No urinary tract infection.
  • Do not own your injury, dont talk about it more than necessary, do not listen to negative people. Visualize youself being completely back to normal, and feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel your legs like they used to be.
  • LOVE yourself! DUhhhhh 
  • always try to move toes, legs everything. it sends signals to the brain. 
  • lie on your stomach as much as you can to stretch out your hip
  • I know a way to learn how to pee without using catheter, its TMI to explain here tho. but if you need help.. well yeah 
  • Crystals and gems are magical. trust me. wear em, have them close to you.
  • stay away from pills that are not absolutely necessary. NO Lyrica pls. stand the nerve pains if you can and say NO to anything that will take away you reflexes or spasms. They are positive and you will need em. ;)  
  • UPDATE: Did you know that you can talk to your cells? they listen and they renew and regenerate themselves! You can also listen to these Binaural beats:



This is it. I am not goin to talk about this anymore because its making me sick. I just really wanted to help you out a little, do not lose hope and you do not have to accept anything or listen to what anyone says except yourself.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF BECAUSE ITS YOUR GODDAMN BODY!

Saturday, April 11, 2015

DONT MESS WITH THE SUPREME

Oh hi, woke up fucking early today from a sharp pain in my heart. Welcome to ReALiti ! Did my eyebrows yesterday, I think she made em too thin :( but they will grow out,.. miss my fav in LA always doing it perfect.
Msg me if u want her info btw!

I heard about a girl who fell from the same building as me but from the 7th floor, she died instantly. then I know about another one that fell from the same height as I and also died. I was right cuz I always thought that I felt alot of bad energy there. like living there was just really heavy and yellow lights.
great view but thats all. I get the creeps thinking about that place, there was never really any peace among us and I was always SO tired.

Wish No 2 , that I could go back in time and RE-DO everything. say yes yes yes to good shit. I have been told tho that I was NEVER lazy. just depressed. so thats a little comforting knowing right?
esp since ive been driving myself crazy because of all the great opportunities that I backed out on for no specific reason, just  being tired (depressed)

ah what silly fucking issues I had, compare to the ones I have now. Im not gonna address them and give em fucking energy but thats just that.

 Life is beautiful, really it is.. Full of beauty and allusions.
Life is Great. without it, you'd be Dead.


Tuesday, April 7, 2015

INTERVIEW NO. 2

from the last interview I did for Kvallsposten. Damn I need help with this, I need to walk now

Saturday, April 4, 2015

WISH #1

When Im gone I want to no special funeral or coffin. I want this https://urnabios.com/
The Bios Urn is a fully biodegradable urn designed to convert you into a tree after life.
Mainly composed by two parts, the urn contains a seed which will grow to remember your loved one. Bios Urn turns death into a transformation and a return to life through nature.
 I want to be a cherry blossom tree. (or a palm tree) somewhere in Los Angeles, I want no one to waste time visiting me, only when Its blossoming. Then you will remember that I am finally in peace and please be happy for me.
No more suffering




REMEMBER ME

Remember me when you're the one who's silver screened
Remember me when you're the one you always dreamed
Remember me whenever noses start to bleed
Remember me, special needs


Remember me when you clinch your movie deal
And think of me stuck in my chair that has four wheels
Remember me through flash photography and screams
Remember me, special dreams


So weird that the "special needs" Placebo song has always been so special to me and now its so unbelievable accurate.