Saturday, November 15, 2014

BECONFIDENT



Im supaahh happy about all the product I received from beconfiDent teeth whitening company and Ill show you the amazing results they'll give me. This is day one:


CHLOE VS MATT

Omg, we were supposed to do a video where we tried my new teeth whitening products I got but THIS is what we got instead,  Hysterical!! The funniest part was when we got out of the bathroom and I was joking and saying "Ahh that was soo good right?" and 2 caretakers walks by. and Matthew carries out the chair he brought in LOL
then we all shared a awkward elevator time, I wish I could explain their face expressions.

heres the clip anyway,.. about "teeth whitening products" yeah.


Friday, November 14, 2014

I NEED A FIX AND A KISS



   Some nights ago I had the realest dream ever, I was walking with my friends and we were going somewhere and I just suddenly realized as we were walking that I was once paralyzed and I said  "Omg, for a second I forgot that period when I couldnt walk, run or dance. U know, when I was paralyzed? shit that was such a fucked up time I dont understand how I got trough it! But thank god I did and now im back to normal :) hahah"

I felt so relived that I was back to normal again and then I woke up I still thought it was true for a few mins, til I realized it was just a fucking dream. I Hate that feeling of realizing it. I forget quite often actually but it only takes a second til I realize it again...

I think that we live in 2 realities, this world and then the dream world. when you wake up from dreams, you actually fall asleep and wake up in this world. yea like Avatar. Debbie had a dream about me last night aswell, I was dancing and laughing at her wedding. Kelly dreams of me almost every night aswell. Even strangers mail me and tell me they have had dreams of me walking.

DEBATT DUELL TOBBE VS CHLOE


for my Swedish readers

jag e sa javla rolig hha

CUTE HORSE

I went horse riding yesterday. "riding" It felt weird and It would have been much better if i was just paralyzed from kinda the hip but since im paralyzed all the way from the waist it was difficult to stay up and I had to hold me up with my arms... felt like i was doing 80 something pushups.. then I almost fainted and had to go back laying in bed under my covers shaking for 2 hours. SO cold.




Tuesday, November 11, 2014

NOT OK

Im withdrawing and cold sweating all day and when I wake up Im literally soaked and Im not feeling to good about it, shaking all day long and the worst thing is the nurses here at orup hospital called me
 "Sweat Chloe, Sweat Chloe HAHAHAHAHA"
I wasnt laughing, I was actually crying and as they picked me up from bed they kept on laughing and calling me SWEAT CHLOE
 :(

I dont think thats very nice and they made me feel very sad. this is not a good, nor professional place for spinal cord damaged people. 








A HUUUUUUGE FUCK YOU!


well imma explain this post for you that read the original. The doctor came in and told me that all the nurses and him had been in on my blog which actually is really personal for me! and my youtube acc, facebook and IG. they asked me to remove all pics and movies ive made here.
I feel mentally raped and really exposed. they are snooping around on their patients blog!! how fucking creepy isnt that?? I dont know what I can write or not anymore. Its bad cuz it felt good to have somewhere to vent and write out my personal thoughts...
so you fat hags n pervs, pls continue doing ur job, and stop looking trough all my shiiiet.






Saturday, November 8, 2014

WITHDRAWAL SHOPPING


Got this from ebay today, not feeling well.. its good wheelchair stuff. I dont like this kinda shoes normally but when ur paralyzed its impossible to get your feet into any pair. weather there is shoe laces or zip, I noticed that you need movement and to lirk your feets down in almost all shoes. its also good to be warm when you dont feel if your feet are cold or not plus no good blood circulation. something you dont think of when your not paralyzed. I love my life...-.-

jus some tips for ppl in my sitch

Friday, November 7, 2014

IM NOT MARY POPPINS

another stupid video good for nuthin' but good good luvin'
haha
Ill get better quality stupid videos now since i finally have a new camera charger so nO more iphone vids! can I hear a YAAY or can i hear a WOOP WOOP?! I know ur all so excited, right!!?
ha ha ha


if you can comment alot of shit like u do cant u please comment on what vids I should do next? and u pervs dont even think of mentioning handicap pornos OKAY?!

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Sunday, November 2, 2014

IT DOESNT MATTER THAT HELL IS AWAITING ME



Hell couldnt compare to this, it needs a new word for hell.. 
Im so incredibly bored, its so unnecessary to be bored, there is so much I could have done. I will change the world if the world let me. I want to go places and I want to be free. free me from my self. my skin my body. PLEASE LET ME GO
or
 gimme back my legs and stop this torture 

LOVE COULD SAVE ME BUT ALL IT DID WAS CRIPPLE ME

If I ever walk again Id want a man like this, a beautiful poet that have the same mindset as me. I love these poems by -Christopher Poindexter




<3




Saturday, November 1, 2014

HOSPITAL HALLOWEEN VIDEO

Im literally dying from laughter by this video we made yesterday! Me Matthew and Per had so much fun actually despite the circumstances.
Scary fuckin place im in huh?


Thursday, October 30, 2014

A SIMPLE THOUGHT BECOMES A MILLION WORDS


Sometimes, just sometimes when I get sad over my situation... when it becomes so really hard to deal with, I find myself to have the power to change my thinking to how small this world is and what this life really is? why do we take it so seriously? We all come from realms of unimaginable power and light and we will return to those realms.
So, why worry and dwell?
I beleive that before you are born you choose your life and what you want/need to learn from it so apparently I chose to go trough this incredibly though experience just because there is something that I needed to learn from it. OR maybe I was just curious to see how it is to really feel LIFE. If everything comes easy then whats the point? how can you grow, having all things going your way?

Im glad I chose this life because I have experienced soo much crazy,weird,rare and things I could never even tell you about. They are my precious memories that I keep inside me and they are so very strong and I feel them on the deepest level. so much it hurts.. I have found people from other lifetimes and that I am grateful for.
have you ever met a person that you just know that you already know? or a person who you love always no matter what. like a mother loves its child... (if shes not a crackhead lol juust kiddin)

I still wish that one day I get to sit at the beach with my soulmates and laugh at all this pain and terror. like it never happened and I am reunited with my people <3 it will happen I just know it. and I wont wait too long. I decide my future with my mind which is a galaxy open to everything and all that is and isnt.



Wednesday, October 29, 2014

BE KIND. ANYWAY



Aloe and Andrews leg
This is LOVE

Today I was forced to go along and go bowling and it was so horrible! I cant help but feeling humiliated and I hate doing what I dont want to do. I always do whatever I want to do whenever i wanna do it and it has worked out fine for me almost all my life.
I have understood the power of kindness and how easy and fulfilling it is! why isnt everyone just nice to each other? I mean, it doesnt cost anything and it doesnt hurt anyone, actually the opposite.

be kind and help people.. even if you get treated like shit yourself and no one helps you. be helpful ANYWAY
like that poem by Mother Theresa, I love that poem cuz it reminds me of a special someone called Andrew..
Now I need to sleep, i feel awfully pleased with what I have accomplished today even tho I had to go trough the damn bowling session.. 

Monday, October 27, 2014

SHAME ON YOU DICKHEADS!!!!

Apparently Im not the only one being attacked for having a fund site created for medical expenses. People are mean and disgusting! jus look at these comments:


Sunday, October 26, 2014

GIVEAWAY!I

I really want to have a giveaway the persons sharing my fund site to the most exposed site or something! I just dont know what you would want to receive as a gift? tell me pls


Saturday, October 25, 2014

THERE IS HOPE LEFT IN THIS LIL BODY



Hi my loved ones!! Good news, Ive found a new treatment that I will attend once a week that replaces stem cells and repair nerves and it has helped so many people to walk again and that is now what the money from my fund will go to. This is a much more realistic money goal and a better chance of me walking again! I AM SO HAPPY! Come on people spread the link :D I AM SO HAPPY THAT I COULD JUMP FROM A BUILDING HAHAHA!! jk
 seriously I really think there is a great chance that this will make me walk omg omg omg

the treatment will start in 2 weeks


 SPREAD: HELP CHLOE WALK

Friday, October 24, 2014

A BEAUTIFUL STRANGERS DREAM

Hi Chloe, we don't know each other and I have NEVER reached out to someone I don't know but I feel led by my spirit too. I live in ------ and by some small chance I heard about you and you falling and getting hurt and I literally was about to do my first youth message on July 13th, when they said the 13 floor, all of it together just made me cry and I kept weeping not even knowing you or anything about you. I felt led to add you as a friend but had no clue what to say to you then last night I had a dream and in it you were walking again but slowly. You were still going through healing and pain but you were smiling in the dream the whole time and you had a new life about you as tho you had been healed from the inside out. I felt led to share that with you and tell you that your life is not over. I don't know if you have anyone who is encouraging you, praying for you, but I would like to offer my number to you and tell you to feel free to text me, call me. My number is--------. I pray today that God will keep surrounding people around you that will help lift you up. Encourage you and you have to keep fighting and ask yourself? I lived through an awful fall. Why? Why am I still here? What is my true, God given purpose in this life? These are deep questions that I think you should seek out and I believe as you do, you will find the answer and that answer will bring you joy and comfort. The girl I saw in my dream was not a sad girl but a girl who had new found hope;) Love & Blessings to you-----

NAKED LOVE



Too tired to answer your comments, I cant believe how jealous some people can be that I received 1000$ for my fund.. its even less than I used to pay for a months rent and you cant just let me have that without calling me a liar n say I take ppls money and what not? Its just a couple of friends that have donated and im so grateful I don't even know what to say <3

stop caring so much about money! Its just paper. but im my case its an opportunity to walk again. I do not care for material things or money anymore all I want is to Live and walk and be happy.

I will give back to people when I have the opportunity, it gives me so much joy to give. Isnt it like that for all people?
Today I wont let me anexity out. Ill keep it in its cage and see the world trough heart shaped glasses

Love is so powerful and it can come around in any shape, taste or feeling ;)


Thursday, October 23, 2014

IT HURTS BUT, I WONT FIGHT YOU..


If you got paralyzed waist down forever, would you kill yourself?
Yes
No
Not sure because I dont know how it feels
Poll Maker

Sunday, October 19, 2014

FORGET ABOUT IT!



what if I told you that being in a wheelchair doesnt automatically make u inspirational, strong or brave? :O

Lol. I keep getting messages from people that say im all those things, strong, brave and inspirational but why? its the first thing that ppl say to each other with the same injury as me.. like robots cuz they feel bad and honestly Im getting sick of hearing it cuz its not true, im not strong! wtf Im here crying all days and all I wanna do is to get high and die.
then I wont accept that im paralyzed. im living in the past and that can only be for a limited amount of time. I realized that a while ago hah
Im brave cuz I keep on living and going trough it all but what else can I do? I dont have much of a choice do I?
Also I dont feel like myself associating with others in the same situation, it makes me uncomfortable and very depressed. I wont accept living less of a life than I used to, why should I settle with this incredible fucked up life that killed all my dreams. Im not human anymore and im not an inspiration for others. Id tell them that it wont get easier and u cant live a normal life ever again. And if you do then you are just settling for less.
might aswell hang urself cuz there will be no more exciting traveling, no running in the sand at a beach in Bali, no climbing a small hill. not even hiking! surfing, fucking in a cheap motel somewhere in vegas, no, cuz u will most likely be alone for the rest of your "life".

           -You ppl with legs still working, you better get up and dance right NOW! and appreciate running errands in the rain while your favorite pair of shoes getting ruined. You better fucking love it.

I wont accept this that has happened to me.
 Im not that kind of person.